On the recent Dr. Nutt fiasco, this Telegraph reader has it right, in my opinion:

Professor Robin Murray published one of several family studies that show that cannabis induced psychosis is indeed associated with a positive family history of schizophrenia.

One draws the conclusion that schizophrenia, or its early effects before it becomes clinically diagnosable, is causing the cannabis smoking rather than the other way round. (For some reason Professor Murray ignores his own study and others that support the fact that “cannabis psychosis” is indeed familial.)

The deeper malaise is the need for the Labour Party leadership to portray themselves as the great protectors of the British people, so that they can win votes. The party leadership have convinced themselves that, by creating a moral panic about cannabis, ecstasy and crime, they will be seen as our saviours.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/letters/6480486/Science-is-on-the-side-of-drug-adviser-sacked-to-make-Labour-look-like-saviours.html

The interview is quite lengthy (52 mins) but very enlightening and worth the watch.

I can’t even believe I’m back talking about schizophrenia as a solid-state condition again… symptoms… what the feck am I saying!

Paranoia is a big one at the moment. Life is a spy film. I keep having windows (like now) of partial clarity and sense but the headache persists through and I can’t see properly. Maybe it’s the beta blockers / penicillin / painkillers I’m taking everyday.

I’ve heard voices interfering on the phone, call centre like voices. The thing is, the other party has heard them too. Maybe something really is happening? How odd it would be to be kidnapped.

But I’m going to do it. Stay tuned to hear audio recordings of my first major, 4 month admission to a psychiatric hospital – told from both sides, as I have hard copies of all notes written by the nurses and doctors.

First episode this week. Will post and link when all is set up!

Technorati Tags: podcast, health, mental, illness, schizophrenia, hospital

I could also not see as perfectly as I once could. The monotonous passing of old, thick-trunked trees on either side of the driveway became a blur of brown and green. For which I could possibly be forgiven for, as the only lighting I had at my disposal came from the piercing headlights of my mother’s car. I wondered if the bulbs would blow before we reached the end of the private road, the last part of the journey was taking forever.

I remember we bought the car, a sport-ish Fiat Punto, some months before all of this. I can distinctly recall working the salesman’s game out, acting on the assumption that 90% of their speech was bullshit. Of course, it was my mother mistakenly purchasing what I considered a bottom of the barrel, clapped out trollop of a motor, even though it was brand new. I just felt protective of her, the salesman being an enemy, rather than an ally.

I could see lights ahead, a small car park with several cars also. All of them, sparing the 90′s Ford Fiesta shunted below the lamppost,  were typically what I would class as ‘Posh Bitch Cars’. I pictured the salesman once again, cursing him under my shallow breath.

It was a cool March night, a slight breeze threw me off as I stumbled out of the now parked car. The building before me stood tall, confrontational in it’s stature. A modernised mansion, cast away from public life by the long path we had just come down at 5 mph. Pillars either side of a grand oak door beaconed me to reach for my ‘overnight’ bag, and slam the Fiat’s door shut – almost in a mini rebellious rage.

Each step towards the opening coincided with a deep, cautious breath. My mother said nothing, I’m guessing her emotions ran from fear all the way to relief. My emotions, on the other hand, persisted to lay dead, as I entered the reception of The Priory North London Psychiatric Hospital. The journey had really only just begun.

I follow with a plan. I now intend to create a compilation of chapters, a story if you will, of the experience of my first hospitalisation. The first post shall follow this one by about 10 minutes.

I sincerely hope you enjoy!

You all present an unbelievably honorable service to us all day in day out, for which I am certainly thankful.

Technorati Tags: kathy sierra, people, life, blogosphere, why?

Yes, I am sorry. Both for watching it so late after release, and to cover the embarrassment of finding such a ‘loosely-emotional’ so life-alterating. But hey! Different strokes.

I realised that I wanted out of life. I want a life of smiles and freedom. I want a beautiful lady to rub noses with until I’m two beats from cold. I want communal smiling, I want laughter, and I want success that isn’t just in a financial context.

Let’s rephrase that paragraph to be more definite! I am going to, from now, this moment, have a life of smiles and freedom. I am going to find a beautiful lady to rub noses with ’til I pop it. I am going to have people around me smiling and laughing and I am going to be creative everyday of my life, come what may!

A lot of people perceive mental illness as the decree absolute in terms of a happy life. I happen to disagree – find the smiles that hide behind the mask and coax them out to fruition. Nothing is impossible, nothing can stop the determination of a man who wants to stand up from the floor when he believes in it’s happening.

Life’s out there. Go get it.

The linked BBC article does extend the discussion into general Schizophrenia topics, such as stigma and interpretations:

“Schizophrenia is a kind of modern day leprosy.

“I do feel that the general public’s worst misconception about schizophrenia is that it somehow remains in their minds an intractable degenerative condition that we can’t treat – and this is so far from the truth.

“I would say stigma is probably one of the most important issues because it affects people’s lives in such a devastating way.”

Well said, Dr Yellowlees. Whilst I do believe the ‘Armageddon scenario’ is much of the time out of context and reason, aspects of how external figures may interpret the condition do make things harder than they need to be.

The entire article, and Dr Yellowlees’ comments, all seem extremely balanced and fair (to me). It ends with a quick comment from a patient, in regards to people’s perceptions of the condition and how he feels about it:

His patient Nick agreed. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia shortly after his A’ Levels and said he is frustrated by the way people portray his condition.

“People on the whole aren’t really interested, and if I do talk about schizophrenia, they often look a bit worried and decide to turn away.”

Around half 7, 8 o’clock last night, I felt a slight headache coming along. As I was probably getting rat-arsed at the parties, I thought I would take an Ibruprofen, but only one. I opened the meds draw, slightly unconscious of my actions, blindly opened the pack and took one with a glass of water.

15 minutes later I was asleep, and 12 hours later I awoke. I had actually took 75mg of chlorpromazine, by accident. Oops.

A lesson to be learned there somewhere! P.S. – Wanted to draw your attention to nearly 2,000 people viewing this blog